Hero
by 1029
Summary: Hotch's death affects the team in many different ways.
1. Alex

_So this idea just sort of came to me. It will probably end up being a pretty short fic._

_I don't own criminal minds_

* * *

**Do not pity the dead, Harry, pity the living and above all those who live without love**

**-Albus Dumbledore **

* * *

Alex Blake sighed as her hands gripped the steering wheel tighter. She looked over at the man next to her who had just lost his best friend. She felt like she should say something, but she wasn't sure what to say. Instead they just drove in silence.

Even though she was the newest member of the family the grief still washed over her. It filled her body as she resisted the urge to tell herself she could have done something to prevent it. She could have been there. She could have saved him. It took all of her mental strength not to let her eyes fill with tears at the thought about what she was about to do.

She pulled up in front of a small two-story suburban home that belonged to Hotch's sister in-law. Blake wanted nothing more than to keep driving. She wanted to let the people inside live in their blissful unknowing for just a few more minutes, but Rossi had already unbuckled his seat belt.

"I think we should talk to Jessica first," he said. Blake could tell the older profiler was in no condition to be talking to anyone. That was why she had offered to go with him. She couldn't spend another minute in that hospital. She couldn't look at the faces of her broken teammates and tell them it was going to be okay, because she wasn't sure it would be. They had all worked with him for at least ten years. She had only known him for three.

"I think that would be best," Blake agreed. With that, she and Rossi began the seemingly endless walk to the door. She knocked twice and not ten seconds later a blonde woman, who she assumed to be Jessica answered the door.

Jessica gave the pair a puzzled look. "Dave right?" she asked, recognizing Rossi. "You work with Aaron?"

Rossi gave her a small nod of confirmation. "May we come in?" Jessica's expression suddenly turned very serious. She wasn't stupid, Alex could tell the woman knew something was wrong. She opened the door wider to let the two agents in.

"Uncle Dave!" Jack exclaimed as he ran over from the kitchen. Seeing the young boy so happy broke Blake's heart and she had to turn away.

"Hey kiddo," Rossi chocked out. "I have to talk with your Aunt right now, but then I'll come and see you."

"Okay," Jack said as he gave his honorary Uncle a hug. "Hi miss Blake," Jack said. He gave her a smile and a big wave. Blake had only met the younger Hotchner on a few occasions,and she understood that he had a closer bond with Rossi.

"Hi Jack," she said. She tried to give him a fake smile, but her acting skills were no good.

After Jack had left the living room. Jessica finally asked, "What's wrong?"

Blake decided that it would be best for her to break the news. "Last night in New York Aaron and a few other agents were involved in a raid that ended badly." Jessica covered her face with her hands as Blake continued. "I am so sorry, but he didn't make it out alive. The doctors, they tried everything they could, but it wasn't enough."

"Oh my god," Jessica said. "What am I going to tell Jack?"

Blake thought about the now orphaned boy. He had been so full of life when they had arrived at the house. He was about to find out that his father and his hero had died. Hotch had truly died a hero's death, but Blake wished he had made it out alive somehow. That somehow this was all just some bad dream and she would wake up and go to work and see the Unit Cheif in his office. "Do you want to be the one to tell him?" Blake asked.

Jessica nodded. "I have to be." Tears were now falling from the woman's eyes. "It's so unfair!" she proclaimed. "Jack's only ten and he's lost both his parents. He doesn't have anybody now."

"That's not true," Rossi said, "He has you and he has us. If you think we're just going to stop being a part of Jack's life you're wrong." Blake nodded in agreement. The team had to stick together now more than ever.

"Okay," Jessica said as she finished wiping away the rest of her tears. "I think you should go. I don't want Jack to feel so crowded when I tell him."

"I understand," Blake said as she stood to leave. "Of you need anything please don't hesitate to call us."

"I'll stop by tomorrow to see how he's doing," Rossi said.

* * *

"Hey," James said pulling his wife into a long hug. Blake buried her face into her husband's shoulder as her tear quickly stained his shirt. "It's okay," James soothed as he stroked her hair.

"I don't think it's going to be," Blake admittted.

"Why?" he asked as he cupped her face. "Agents die in the field, it happens. But teams are upset about it for a little while and then they slowly move on."

Blake shook her head in disagreement. "This is different. We're like a family and I don't think certain members will make it through this." She was referring to Rossi, who even though he tried to put up a strong front was slowly beginning to crack. There was also Garcia who had been a mess at the hospital and as far as Blake could tell had not stopped crying since. Reid hadn't talked to anyone other than herself and JJ and when Blake did talk to him he was severely depressed. He and JJ had been with Hotch in his final moments. Blake didn't think JJ would ever recover from losing her friend. JJ had to be dragged away from his body by Morgan as they loaded him into the ambulance, she had demanded that the doctors go back into the OR and bring the Unit Chief back out alive. Morgan would maybe make it through this okay, but Blake could tell he felt guilty about his new promotion.

Sure most teams will eventually move on after losing a member, but this team was different. This team was a family. And Blake wasn't so sure that the team would be the same again.

* * *

**We must embrace pain and burn it as fuel for our journey**

**-Kenji Miyazawa**


	2. Penelope

_**I love the Hotch/Garcia relationship so I hope I did this chapter justice. The quote at the beginning of this chapter was also said by Garcia, and I thought it fit nicely with the story.**_

_**I don't own Criminal Minds**_

* * *

**Hope is faith holding out its hand in the dark." **

**-George Iles**

* * *

Garcia pushed through the doors of the hospital frantically searching for her team. Her babies were hurt and she had heard everything. She heard Hotch negotiating with the un-subs, the seemingly endless gunfire, Reid's panicked voice as he tried to stabilize the Unit Chief, and JJ's desperate pleas for an ambulance. Garcia had heard it all while she sat behind her desk at Quantico and there was nothing she could do to help them. Now she was rushing through a hospital holding onto the hope that they would be okay.

Cruz had allowed Morgan to send Garcia the jet so that she could be in New York with the rest of them. She was confident Hotch would pull through, he had to. What would their team be without their fearless leader? Through Garcia's time at the FBI the only constant she'd ever had in her job was complete faith in Aaron Hotchner. This time was no exception. She was confident he would pull through.

"Hey babygirl," Morgan said. He appeared out of nowhere to her.

"How are they?"

Morgan sighed, "Uh Reid is finishing getting checked out by the doctors. JJ might have to stay here overnight. And Hotch is, well, still in surgery."

"That's a good thing right?" she asked. "It means that they're gonna save him."

Morgan nodded, "It means they're going to try." He led her over to a small waiting room outside of the OR that mostly contained members of the team. Rossi was pacing back and forth with his head hung low. Reid was staring at a wall while he nervously moved his leg up and down. While Blake shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Hey pretty boy, what did the doctors say?" Morgan asked Reid.

Reid frowned, "They said I have a minor concussion as fractured wrist, but other than that I'm alright." He went back to his staring at the wall and his leg could tell he was thinking of the worst scenarios in his head and she just wanted to go over to him and hug and tell him it was all going to be okay. It had to be.

It was then that JJ made her way into the waiting room. Garica gasped when she saw just how bad of shape her friend was in. Her arm was in a sling and her face was tear-stainbed and filled with cuts. "Woah woah woah," Morgan said as he blocked her path. "You're supposed to be in your room resting."

"I can't rest without knowing," JJ said blankly.

"JJ you were shot," Morgan reasoned. "You have a severe concussion."

"I'm not leaving!" JJ said firmly. She looked over to Garcia for support.

"We need to be here like a family right now," Garcia said. "JJ should stay."

Morgan sighed and let JJ through to the waiting room. She quickly sat down next to Reid and stayed there, absolutely still, until the doctor came out.

Garcia wasn't sure how long they waited there. It felt like days. Every doctor she saw she prayed that they were the ones who were going to tell the team that Hotch was okay and that he would be awake in a few hours. But each time they walked right past the waiting agents either to go see another family or converse with their co-workers.

Finally one doctor emerged from the OR. "Hotchner?" he asked. Rossi and JJ sprung forward while Blake and Reid snapped out of their respective dazes. "I'm so sorry," he said. "We tried everything we could, but Agent Hotchner passed away at approximately 3:32 this morning."

"No," Garcia breathed out. The room was suddenly closing in on her. She felt Blake's supporting shoulders guide her over to a chair, and then Garcia let the tears flow. It wasn't fair. Hotch had been through enough, the world had been so cruel to him and he had to die in such a tragic way. He would never get to run the FBI, he would never get to be truly happy again, he would never get to see his son grow up.

The thought of the little Hotchner sent her into another round of sobs. She had grown closer to the young boy over the last couple years and now she would have to see him grieve to loss of another parent, only this time he would be old enough to understand. Hotch had always told her that he aprricated her uniqueness and her ability to see the good in even the worst of situations, and she vowed that was just what she would do for his son.

* * *

It was a few days later that Garcia stood in her layer looking at all of the darkened screens. She thought about all of the sad moments she'd had in this office. She tried to surround herself with happy things to make her smile, but now all they did was make her a little sadder. In the pictures of the team all she saw was Hotch flashing one of his rare, but genuine smiles. In her little trinkets she saw all of the people that her keyboard powers couldn't save.

It was hard to believe, but Hotch was actually the coolest boss ever. He never told Garcia that she couldn't do her flirtatious thing with the team. He told them to take time off when he could see their jobs weighing on them. Whenever Strauss or any of the other higher-ups questioned her or the team, he would be the one to put his job on the line defending them. He understood that she could sometimes be upset by the horrors that filled her screen. Her mind flashed to when JJ had left the team and she had tried to be the communications liaison. Hotch had been so understanding and the memory brought on a whole new wave of tears.

_"But I let you down," Garcia said._

_"In no way what so ever," Hotch responded. _

_"I-I kind of lost my marbles out there," she said._

_"Garcia, when you applied for this job you gave me your resume on homemade pink stationary. I realized ten that you were unique. And I wouldn't want you to change that. Goodnight."_

_"Night," Garcia said after he had already turned and walked away._

It was his job to be intimidating and kind of scary at times, but that night was when Garcia truly realised her cared about her and the rest of the team more than she thought.

She had her grief assessment with Cruz in five minutes and truthfully she didn't feel like going. When Emily had "died" Hotch had been the one to comfort his team through their grief. It made her feel less anxious about talking about her thought to be deceased friend. It was one of the things that made her respect the former Unit Chief so much more.

But Garcia didn't want to talk about Hotch to Cruz. She understood that Morgan had a lot on his mind, but she wished she were talking to him instead of Cruz. She sighed and made her way to Cruz's office. She took the hallway that had the pictures of fallen agents hanging in it. She stopped briefly at the picture of him hanging two over from Strauss's.

His eyes looked out over the bullpen, like he was still watching his agents in death. Making sure that they were okay without them. The thought comforted Garcia slightly as she continued on her way to her grief counseling.

* * *

**The golden moments in the stream of life rush past us and  
we see nothing but sand; the angels come to visit us, and we only know  
them when they are gone  
-George Elliot**


	3. Derek

_**Still in a state of shock from the finale. **_

_**Anways this chapter is a little but shorter than the others, simply because there isn't really a deep friendship between Hotch and Morgan. Their relationship is based on respect. Which I love, and is what made this chapter to difficult/fun to write.**_

_**I don't own Criminal Minds**_

* * *

**To the living we owe respect, but to the dead we owe only the truth.**

**-Voltaire. **

* * *

"Well it's all here," Cruz said as he showed Morgan his new office. "I would say congratulations but."

"Don't," Morgan said bluntly. "There's nothing to congratulate me for."

"I'll let you get settled then," Cruz said as he turned and left.

Morgan sighed and looked around the empty office. The only furniture was a bookcase and a desk, Hotch's desk, that sat in the corner. It felt odd to Morgan, to stand where to former Unit Cheif stood, and to work behind the desk he worked. Now he was the Unit Cheif. Morgan had always wanted to be the team leader, but he never wanted it like this. It was no secret Hotch would eventually start to move up the chain of command, and that Morgan would follow him.

Morgan looked at the empty bookcase. He remembered that it was filled with Crime novels, profiling books, thesauruses, Hotch's countless awards and trophies, and pictures of the deceased agent in happier times. Putting other things up there would feel wrong to him. Using this office would feel wrong to him. This office was Hotch's. No man that worked under him would be able to use this office without some sense of guilt. Sighing, he decided to go ask Cruz for a new office.

* * *

"I always had the up-most respect for Aaron Hotchner. Sometimes I may have questioned his actions, but at the end of the day I had his back and I knew he had mine. He once told me without hesiation that he trusted me with his life. He would fight for every last person, every last victim, to survive. In my opinion he is and always will be my leader and my friend. I'm proud and honored to say that I knew Aaron Hotchner. I only wish I could done as much for him in the end, as he did for everyone else," Morgan gave a nod to the crowd after he concluded his eulogy, and stepped down from behind the podium. He re-took his seat next to Garcia, who was blubbering into another handkerchief with Mascara running down her face. On the opposite end of the Church Blake sat in between her husband and Reid, who sat next to JJ, who was sitting next to Rossi, who was sitting next to Jack.

Hotch's funeral was well attended. The directer of the FBI and the rest of the superior ranking officals were in attendance. There were also Hotch's friends and family, the team, his sister in law, Beth, and of course little Jack. Morgan sat with his head bowed as he listened to the rest of the team and Hotch's family give their final goodbyes.

He watched silently as Jack stood and talked about how proud he was to have Hotch as a father, and how he would always be his hero. Morgan could tell the young boy was angry at the world for what it had done to him, and he couldn't blame him. Ten years old with no parents, it could make any little boy feel alone. But Jack was not alone, and he never would be. It struck Morgan that he knew exactly what the young boy was going through. He too had lost his father at a young age, and to Morgan his father was also his hero.

After the funeral he went to go find Jack. He found him with Reid as the young genius tried to show him magic tricks to make him feel better. Both Morgan and Reid knew it wasn't helping. Reid tried to impress him by making a napkin ring disappear, but the boy just stared off with a blank expression on his face.

"Hey Reid," Morgan called. "Can I borrow Jack for a second?"

"Sure," Reid said. "I'll be over there if you need me."

"Hey Derek," Jack said, barley looking up to meet the agent's eyes.

"Hey kid. I know it's tough but you wanna know something?" Morgan continued even when he didn't get a response from Hotch's son. "I know what it's like. When I was a kid my dad was shot and killed on the job. I was angry, at the man who did it, the people who couldn't save him, and sometimes even him. I used to think to myself maybe if he had a different job..."

Morgan could see he now had the young boy's full attention. "But if he didn't do the job he did, he wouldn't have been my dad. The same way your dad wouldn't have been yours. Everyone kept telling me I should be proud to have a dad who was killed in action, that it meant he was a hero. It wasn't until years later that I actually became proud of him. He was a hero who fought to save people's lives every day. Jack, you gotta remember that he loved you more than anything in the entire world, everything he did was for you. I know he would give anything to be here with you forever."

"I know," Jack replied.

"Alright kid," Morgan said as he messed his hair."Just know you can talk to you Aunt or any of us whenever you want."

"You guys are still going to be here even though Dad isn't?"

"Of course we are. Never leave a man behind."

"Okay Derek," Jack said, satisfied he wouldn't be losing the rest of his 'family'.

"Alright let's go find your Aunt." Morgan said as he led Hotch's son back to the rest of the funeral goers.

* * *

** Oh, dry the glistening tear**  
**That dews that martial cheek;**  
**Thy loving children hear,**  
**In them thy comfort seek.**  
**With sympathetic care**  
**Their arms around thee creep,**  
**For oh, they cannot bear**  
**To see their father weep**

**-Aaron Hotchner**


	4. Jennifer

_**I was pretty excited to write this chapter because JJ and Hotch have such an amazing friendship and level of respect for each other on the show, even though it has been shown less in the last couple seasons.**_

_**I don't own Criminal Minds**_

* * *

**He who sacrifices his heart, in silence, for the happiness of others, is indeed the strongest man.**

**-Vesper San**

* * *

_"Billy I know you never meant to hurt anybody," Hotch said to the unsub. Hotch, JJ, and Reid were currently in a standown, guns drawn, with their two suspects. Hotch was attempting to talk down the weakest link, Billy who was on the verge of snapping._

_Billy pulled his hair with his free hand. "You don't know what I want!" he yelled._

_"I know that your brother convinced you that killing those women was okay. I know that you never participated in raping them because you felt remorse. And I know that right now you're scared because you feel like there's no way out, but there is if you just put the gun down," Hotch responded._

_"SHUT UP!" Billy's brother, Patrick screamed. "Don't listen to them Bill. We're looking at life in prison."_

_"I don't want to go to prison," Billy responded._

_JJ's eyes widened as she looked to Hotch and Reid. Both of their faces struggled to remain calm. They knew what would happen next. _

_The first shot barely missed Reid's head, as Billy and Patrick unloaded their automatic weapons onto the agents. Hotch shoved him to the ground behind one of he crates in the massive warehouse. JJ felt a sharp pain in her shoulder and leg, she realized she had been shot. The pain consumed her leg and arm, making it almost impossible for her to move. She had never been shot before, and she resisted the urge to scream, but her teammates saw her anyway. _

_Hotch rushed over to her, ducking to avoid the showers of bullets. "You okay?" he asked, firing two more shots._

_"I'm fine." she said, but he could tell she was lying._

_The bullets were lessening now that the unsubs were running out. "Come on," he said pulling her into his arms. "We have to get you back to Reid." JJ squeezed her eyes shut at the surge of pain that filled her body as she attempted to move. She re-opened them at the feeling of her body slamming against the concrete floor. She thought Hotch had dropped her until she saw the sight of her Unit Chief soaked in blood. The final two shots of Reid's gun rang out, effectively killing Billy and Patrick._

_She screamed into her earpiece for the rest of the team to hear. "MAN DOWN." She saw the puddle of blood beginning to form around Hotch._

JJ woke up in a cold sweat. She looked over the clock on her bedside table that read 5:50. There was no chance of her going back to sleep after that, so she just decided to get up. She gingerly attempted to move out of the bed. Her shoulder and leg still hurt like hell, and she limped wherever she went. She limped down the stairs to make herself a cup of coffee.

It was the day of the funeral. JJ sat quietly watching to coffee maker drip the coffee slowly into the pot. She thought about her dream, or rather memory of that night. It still burned fresh in her mind. She even remembered being barley conscious as they loaded her and Hotch into separate ambulances, no matter how much she pleaded and insisted she was fine they would not let her ride with him.

"Couldn't sleep?" Will asked. She didn't even hear him come in. "Did you have the nightmare again?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said, "It just seems like no matter how many different things, or pills I try. I'm always going to remember that night.

_JJ put her good hand over his bullet wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding. He had been shot directly in the stomach, and he was slowly bleeding out. Reid rushed over to pair. _

_"JJ I need you to move so I can attempt to stabilize him," Reid said. He looked panicked and scared, but JJ was confident he would do everything in his power to help their fallen friend. _

_"Where is the ambulance?" she yelled. She moved over to sit beside Hotch's head. "It's okay Aaron, you're going to make it through this. Reid's here and an ambulance is on the way."_

_Hotch numbly shook his head, "By the time they clear the building..."_

_"No," she chocked out. "They're going to get here in time. Reid's working now." She felt herself starting to feel faint from her own wounds. She gripped his hand tightly to show she was still there with him._

_ He gave her sad grimace. "JJ, it's okay."_

* * *

JJ stood, staring at the casket that was flooded with white roses. Each rose symbolized a person who knew her late friend, and who was saddened by his loss. She held her sister's necklace tightly, he was the first person she ever talked to about her sister, even before Will.

"Thought you might be here," Morgan said, pulling her out of her thoughts.

JJ nodded. "Just thinking."

"About what?" he asked.

She sighed, not sure of how to explain it to him."I guess just all times he was there for me. Especially the last time he was."

Morgan sighed. "Jayje you gotta stop blaming yourself."

JJ snorted, "Really because if he wasn't trying to help me he would still be here."

"JJ, he would have done anything for you; he would have done it for any of us. I know he knew what he was doing when he helped you. He protected all of us, but god help the person that tried to mess with you while he was around."

"I know and I wish I could have thanked him," she sobbed. "Now I get to be here to watch my son grow up, and words can't describe how that feels. He sacrificed his chance at that for mine."

Morgan looked at JJ, she looked worse to him now then when after her and Cruz were taken just two years before. He feared this might be the end of the line for her. "JJ I understand if you want to take extra weeks off," he said.

"Yeah maybe I will," she agreed. "But I'm coming back." Morgan nodded, patted JJ's shoulder, and walked off leaving her alone with her thoughts.

There was suddenly a whole list of things JJ had done or said to the Unit Chief when he was still alive. She wished she could have organized a play date between Henry and Jack, she was going to do it soon, but she knew it would be different if Hotch was still alive. She wished she could have thanked him more for all of the times he stood up for er when her job was in question. For the times he made sure she was okay when she first started out and the constant death started to wear on her.

With one final glace back at the grave, JJ walked off to join her husband and son. To the life that Hotch had given to her with his sacrifice. She would make sure not to waste it.

* * *

** And now all your love was wasted. And who the hell was I?...Who will love you? Who will fight? And who will fall, fall behind?**

**-Bon Iver**


	5. Dave

_**Sorry for the long update. There's only going to be two more chapters of this story, and I'm pretty excited about those. This was another one of my favorites to write.**_

_**I don't own Criminal Minds**_

* * *

**Death never comes at the _right_ time, despite what mortals believe. Death always comes like a thief**

**-Christopher Pike**

* * *

Rossi looked down at the piece of paper in his hand. Without hesitation he quickly singed the bottom, the only hard part would be telling everyone else. He rose from his desk and made his way out to the bullpen. He passed by his friend's darkened office and walked straight to Morgan's. He knocked twice before entering.

"Hey Rossi what's up?" Morgan asked. Rossi could see the paper work starting to pile up around the new Unit Chief, who looked like he hadn't slept in two days. "Cruz says you should report to your psych eval on Thursday," he continued.

"That won't be necessary," Rossi stated. At Morgans confused looked, he handed over the piece of paper in his hands.

Morgan quickly read over it. "What's this?' he demanded.

"My official resignation."

"You gotta be kidding me," Morgan responded.

Something behind Rossi's eyes flashed. "No," he said. "This is me giving you my two weeks notice. I'm retiring for good this time."

"What you don't think I can lead this team?" Morgan asked, his tone mixed with anger and hurt. "I have enough with the bureau on my back. Now my agents are quitting on me."

"Who else is quitting on you?" Rossi asked.

"You!" Morgan exclaimed. "Reid and JJ still aren't back yet. Who knows if JJ will ever be fit enough to go into the field again?"

"She's a tough girl," Rossi stated confidently. "She'll pull through."

"Whatever," Morgan said. "Hotch wouldn't have wanted this."

"Yes, but he would have understood," Rossi retorted. "And that's all that matters. And quite frankly I'm tired of seeing the people I love die. It started with Erin and I'm ending it with Aaron."

"Rossi I-"

"I'll give Cruz my copy thank you," Rossi said, not letting Morgan finish. He quickly stormed out of the office.

* * *

"Hey Jack," Rossi said lifting his honorary grandson into the air. His back hurt a little, and he came to the realization that he was getting to old to be able to that anymore. It had been two weeks since the funeral, and it seemed like Jack was adjusting better and better each day, although he would still spend hours watching old videos of Hotch or just looking at pictures of him. Those were the moments that caused Rossi's heart to break.

"Hey Uncle Dave," Jack said, hugging Rossi back.

"You ready to go?" Rossi asked. Jack nodded yes, just as his Aunt came into the small living room.

"Just be sure to have him back in time for dinner," Jessica said.

Rossi nodded that he would. "Are you sure you don't want to come?" he asked.

Jessica shook her head, "No, I think this is something you should do together."

"Okay then," he said. "We'll be back in a couple hours."

Rossi parked the car as close as he could, to save Jack, and himself, the painstakingly long walk. He watched as the little boy gathered his papers among other things into his arms. He looked up, indicating to Rossi that he was ready to go.

They walked for a few minutes until they reached the grave marked Aaron Hotchner. Rossi looked at the small deck of cards that were carefully placed next to the grave indicating that Reid had been there earlier as a symbol to the pairs frequent card games. He assumed the Gladiolus were the work of Blake, while the Sunflowers and letter were the work of JJ. Meanwhile Garcia had set up numerous random objects and flowers in a shrine that reminisced Hotch in a way only she would understand.

Jack quickly folded the two notes in half and placed them in a neat pile in front of the headstone. He then used a batman action figure to hold them down.

"Aren't you going to read them?" Rossi asked.

Jack shook his head, "No I want Dad to be able to read them himself."

"Okay," Rossi said. He understood that Jack would find comfort in believing that his father was able to visit earth and see Jack whenever he pleased, the though pleased Rossi as well.

"I'm gonna go sit on that bench and wait," Jack said. Even though he was young, he could see that his Uncle wanted some alone time at his father's grave.

"Okay," Rossi responded. "I'll only be a minute."

After Jack was out of earshot he turned to the grave. "You got yourself a good kid there Aaron," he started. "Course we already knew that. I, uh, I try to visit a few times a week, so does JJ. Reid's stopped by a couple times too. Jessica's his legal gaurdian now, but Sean's moved back."

He figured Hotch would be proud to know his brother was now looking after his son. "I can see the whole team's stopped by." he paused for a moment. "They miss you. I miss you, and Aaron I wish everyday it was me instead of you. I wish I had at least been there, things could have turned out so differently. You had so much to live for."

Rossi felt himself starting to get sappy, he had to lighten the mood. "Anyways, next time I stop by I'll bring some scotch and we can have a drink together or something."

Rossi turned his attention back to the liltte boy who was intently staring at his father's grave. "Jack come say goodbye," he called.

"Goodbye Dad," Jack said when he reached Rossi. "Uncle Dave and I will be back soon."

"We sure will," Rossi responded. "Goodbye Aaron."

* * *

**They say you die twice. One time when you stop breathing and a second time, a bit later on, when somebody says your name for the last time**

**-Bansky**


	6. Spencer

_**Here we go guys, second to last chapter. I really hope I'm doing these characters justice from the way I've portrayed them**_

_**I don't own Criminal Minds**_

* * *

**When the heart grieves over what is has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left**

**-Sulfi Epigram**

* * *

"Hey you're back," Blake said when she saw the young genius at his desk one morning. It had been two and a half weeks since the funeral, and so far everyone was back at work except for Reid and JJ, who were out on medical leave. The team had lost its sense of cheeriness and control. It now took them double the amount of time to close cases, and when they got back they went their separate ways. She was devastated to learn that Rossi was leaving now too, but she understood why.

"Yeah I am," Reid replied. "The doctors cleared me yesterday, now all I have to do is see Cruz about my psychiatric evaluation."

"And you don't want to go?" Blake questioned, picking up on his distasteful tone.

"What I don't want is for someone I don't know to ask me how I feel. Somebody who lied about knowing JJ and put her in danger," Reid snapped, but Blake brushed it off. She had already been warned that Reid would most likely lash out.

"What if you could talk to Morgan or even Rossi?" Blake suggested.

Reid only shook his head, "Morgan made it pretty clear he didn't want to be the one to talk to us, and Rossi's leaving in a few days."

"How do you feel about that?" she asked.

"About Rossi leaving?"

Blake nodded.

"I get it," he answered. "I just don't want to see him go."

"You don't like change," Blake stated.

"I guess you could say that," Reid said. He was calmer now. "Ever since my dad left I would always take it personally. Then there was Elle, Gideon, Emily, Maeve, and now Hotch, everyone leaves. Most of time I never get to say goodbye."

"You know all of those people care a lot about you Reid," Blake soothed. "None of them wanted to abandon you."

"The worst part is that I can remember everything about that night."

_Reid heard the gunfire before he saw it. The nest thing he felt was Hotch tackling him to the ground. _

_"Stay here until the firing stops," Hotch ordered._

_"Okay," Reid said. He could feel his head throbbing from where it had hit the floor of the warehouse. He watched as Hotch ran over to JJ, who had apparently been shot. He lifted her before he fell down himself. Reid watched in horror as blood began to form around his boss. He stumbled for his gun and effectively shot both unsubs down in a blind rage. _

_JJ was screaming to the rest of the team that Hotch had been shot. Reid ran over to where they were position. _

_"JJ I need you to move so I can attempt to stabilize him," Reid ordered, attempting to remain as calm as possible. After JJ had moved, he began to summon his knowledge from all of the medical books he had read. Hotch had been shot in the small area that was not covered by vest. _

_Reid tore away a piece of his shirt, and tied it around the wound to help stop the bleeding. Hotch hissed in pain, and gripped onto JJ's hand harder than he already was. Reid could also see that his knee was twisted from when he fell carrying JJ. _

_It was then that the medics arrived and pulled him away from his boss. They insisted on loading both him and JJ into stretchers, and when Reid was wheeled outside he could see the whole team waiting for them._

_JJ insisted on going in the ambulance with Hotch, but Morgan and Rossi kept saying no. Until finally, Morgan pulled JJ away from him, and carried her to her own ambulance. _

_"I'll get checked out as soon as we get to the hospital, just let me go with him," Reid said to Rossi._

_Rossi just nodded and let Reid into the ambulance before shutting the door behind them both. _

_Hotch looked worse than when Reid saw him only a moment ago. He was pale, fading in and out of consciousness, with blood lining his mouth. _

_"Reid I need you to say goodbye to me," Hotch said hoarsely. _

_"No you're gonna make it. We're on our way to the hospital now," Reid protested._

_"Reid-"_

_"Hotch I can't," he protested again._

_"What did you tell JJ when Prentiss died?" Hotch reminded him. He knew how important this was to the younger man._

_"That I never got to say goodbye," Reid admitted. "I'll say goodbye for now, because I'll see you when you come back."_

_So right there in the ambulance, with the machines beeping, EMT's talking loudly, and the sirens blaring Reid said goodbye. Hotch gave a relived smile as he heard._

Reid nodded again, wiping away a tear. "You know when I first started at the BAU I was younger than everyone else. Hotch and Gideon used to look out for me, other agents weren't always nice."

"It can get pretty high school around here," Blake observed light-heartily.

He gave a small smile, " I've never told anyone this, but I kind of thought of them as surrogate dads. Hotch even taught me how to use my gun, Gideon said I didn't need it. When Gideon left I guess Hotch took over full time. There were so many times he should have just fired me on the spot."

"Hotch wouldn't do that, no matter how bad you got," she said.

"I would lash out and yell at him, officers, and even JJ. Not to mention I had a drug addiction that should have cost me my job."

Blake widened her eyes at the revelation. She never knew. "But you're better now?" she asked.

"Yeah I'm fine now," he said. "But Alex, what am I going to do?"

"I'll talk to Cruz," Blake offered. "See if I can be the one who talks to you, not as an evaluation, but as a friend."

Reid smiled, remembering that was what Hotch did when Emily had 'died'. "Thank you."

* * *

It had been a year since Reid had seen his mom. He knew he should visit her more often, but with work and the travel he just never got around to it. When he saw her sitting in the sitting room among the other patients., Reid was shocked. She looked healthier, and was smiling. He hadn't seen her look so good since before his dad had left. "Mom!" he called.

Diana Reid looked up and gave her son a smile and a wave. She almost ran over to where he stood. "Oh Spencer," she said when she pulled him into a hug.

"Hey mom, how have you been?" he asked.

"I've been doing fantastic," Diana replied, "And I've gotten all of your letters."

"That's great," Reid said. Even though he couldn't see his mom all the time, he still made sure to write her a letter at least once a week.

"And I'm so sorry about your friend," she added. "From what I can remember he seemed like a nice man."

"He was," Reid replied, "But it helped me realize what's important. I could die any day, and I want to spend those days with my friends and my family."

"It's good that you can see the good in things Spencer," his mom said proudly.

"So do you want to go out to lunch?" Reid asked.

* * *

**It is worth remembering that the time of greatest gain in terms of wisdom and inner strength is often that of greatest difficulty**

**-Dalai Lama**


	7. Eight years later

_**Here's the last chapter. I hope you guys like it. I really enjoyed writing this story, even though it was sad. Thank you to all you read, followed, favorited, and took the time to review. **_

* * *

**Rarely do members of the same family grow up under the same roof**

**-Richard Bach**

* * *

_Eight years later..._

JJ walked across Rossi's manicured backyard with her son by her side. Henry had grown up so quickly, and she felt lucky that she had been there to see it. After the injuries she sustained that night, JJ was never able to pass a physical test to get back in the field. Going back to being a liaison would have been too strange without Hotch by her side, so she settled for Anderson's desk job. She was still able to help people and of course the perks of being able to go home every night and see her family, out weighed the negative of putting her career on hold.

She was at Rossi's for Jack's high school graduation party. "Hey Jack!" she said when she saw him standing in the middle of the backyard. He looked so grown up wearing his cap and gown. She pulled the now taller Hotchner boy into a warm hug. "Congratulations."

"Thanks JJ," Jack replied with a smile. He had the same dimples as his father, and he same dark hair. Over the years JJ and Jack grew closer, and she often included him in things she did with Henry. It gave Jack a sense of purpose to feel like he had Henry as a little brother to look after, and Henry in turn looked up to the older boy.

"Yeah Congrats," Morgan said, approaching the trio. He patted Jack on the back and gave him a card. Morgan saw the team less and less ever since he took the job leading the field office in New York. He still came back to D.C for big events and parties like this, but it wasn't all the same. He had never taken the job before, for fear of breaking up the team, but with Rossi and JJ gone, the team was already broken.

"What's this a little reunion?" Garcia asked, rushing up behind Morgan. She still remained loyal as the team's technical analyst through the years. Her quirky flirtations had died down a lot, but they never stopped. Nobody could have imagined that the job would one day affect the perky blonde, but it did.

"Hey Hun?" Kevin called to his wife. He was currently attempting to juggle carrying a two year old, pushing a stroller, and carrying their diaper bag. He was looking overwhelmed, which earned him a few laughs from the observing group.

"I'll be there in a second my sweet," Garcia replied, "First let me give my nephew a hug for making it out of high school, and into Yale." With that she pulled Jack into the biggest bear hug imaginable, which he awkwardly returned. She gave him a kiss on the cheek that left a red lip stain.

"Aw Aunt Pen, you're embarrassing me," Jack teased, wiping his cheek.

"What now you're too old for your family?" Rossi asked, approaching the now large group. "I'm only kidding," he added at Jack's horrified expression. They all knew how much the young boy admired his family.

"Congratulations Jack," Blake said. She approached the group as she held James' hand. After Morgan had left Blake took over as Unit Chief. Under her watchful eye the team flourished almost as much as it had when Hotch was still alive.

"Thanks Blake," Jack replied. He had grown to care for her more through the years. Whenever he had a problem with a school project or writing college entrance essays, he could always turn to her or Reid for help.

"You know I was twelve when I graduated high school so technically you're behind the curve," Reid joked, breaking the ice for his entrance into the group. He became Blake's second in command, and the pair often gave guest lectures together. In many ways she had become a second mother to him. His wife, Maya, approached the group holding their daughters in both arms. She gave everyone a sheepish smile, as she leaned against her husband.

"Well we can't all be child geniuses," Jack retorted.

"Yeah, but I guess valedictorian is pretty good too," Rossi said, but the team could see he was especially proud.

"You're going to be one of the best lawyers around," Blake encouraged. Just weeks before Jack had announced that he was going to Yale to practice law. Something that everyone agreed would have made both his mother and father very proud.

JJ watched as Reid coddled his five year old, and three year old daughters. Her and Hotch had been named honorary godparents over Jessica, the five year old. While Rossi and Blake were godparents of Sarah, the three year old. It was days like this she especially missed her departed friend. "Your parents would have been so proud," she said.

Jack nodded, "That's what Uncle Sean and Aunt Jess keep saying. I hope that's true."

"Of course it is," Rossi interjected. "You're a great kid. No matter what you decided yo do your parents would be proud of you."

"Okay, Jack, I promise we'll only bother you another minute. I just really want a picture of all of us," Garcia said as she began frantically searching for her camera in her purse. "Kevin have you seen my camera?" she asked.

Jack laughed at his Aunt's enthusiasm, "It's no bother."

"Found it," Garcia called as she pulled it out of the bottom of her purse. "Okay now everybody get together. I'm gonna put it on a timer. This is going up on my wall."

Everyone gathered together with their arms around each other, and the children in the front, Jack was in the middle. Garcia set the timer and put the camera in her tripod. She quickly rushed across the grass, careful not to get her heels stuck, and put her arms around Morgan.

"Everybody say cheese," Rossi ordered.

"Aw man I don't wanna say cheese," Morgan protested playfully.

"Too bad," Garcia said, poking him in the side.

"CHEESEEE," everyone said in chorus as the flash went off.

* * *

**Other things may change us, but we start and end with family**

**-Anthony Brandt**


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